The Trimobius(tm) Sunglasses (picture of sunglasses):

  1. In the event of crazed attraction redesigners like the ugly pink thing (UPT), the sunglasses show the original attraction unblemished by any enhancements. With an additional upgrade, the sunglasses will have the option of providing in a virtual fashion entire attractions that have been closed by ruthless money hungry peons.

    Note, there are evidently some people who like the UPT, including my 9 year old daughter, so the sunglasses have a setting so you can control what year you to consider as the baseline. This means that such people would still see a birthday cake in 1998 and beyond if they set the baseline to 1997.

  2. The sunglasses have rum punch detectors installed, so that TDC'ers could find any caches of rum punch, even when hidden in flasks, or barrrels. Needless to say, it has to filter out any rum punch that is in the process of being digested at the time. Optionally, it would filter out any rum punch that is packed in with fruitcake, since it will be of questionable value after being in contact with such toxic materials.

  3. When activated by a woman, and worn by a man of her choice, the sunglasses automatically portrays that woman in Barbie-esque proportions, even if she were currently having a bad hair day (or a flat day). All other women then look drab by comparison. The czarina has an override that would work on all sunglasses in the vicinity, that she could use whenever the czar wasn't arround so that she would also be similarly enhanced.

    Unfortuantely, portraying men in Ken-esque proportions won't work too well....

  4. Given the increase in TDC titles recently, it has become hard to remember all of the dear TDC'ers one has met, so the sunglasses display the TDC title over any TDC'ers head, so that you know with whom one is sharing the rum punch.

  5. Unlike some other sunglasses that turn black when any peril approaches, the TDC sunglasses always are rose tinted, since there is no peril in Trimobius-land.

  6. When waiting in lines, the glasses will show either cartoons or whole movies (depending on the length of the line) to entertain TDC'ers (who sometimes have a short attention span) while they are forced to endure the plebian masses.


Michael Meissner, Yeoman Juggler and inventor of the Trimobius Sunglasses